by Charli Marshall
charlimarshall.com
lookforthegirl.tumblr.com
@farbelow

Technically, my ‘first love’ is my current partner whom I’m besotted with and intend to be with forever.

But it took a long time to get to this point, and in my life, each new man or woman that I encountered to be with intimately was, at the time, someone I thought I was in love with. When I think about it, I don’t think I was in love with anyone; I was in love with my life and anyone that came into it got swept up in any emotion I was feeling.

I was at my happiest between 2006 and 2009, in terms of stress free living, lack of responsibility and pressure. Everything I did, everyone I was with, I loved. Especially my friends. A circle of friends that no longer really exists. I think it was this circle of friends that was my ‘first love’. I loved each of them and I lament those days more than I miss any of my ex’s. That group dynamic, that relationship between us all. I took photographs and filmed us almost daily, doing nothing specific, just recording our existence. But to look back on, each and every clip holds a firm place in my heart. It’s a time in my life I wish to return to and it saddens me that it can’t ever be the same.